Three Years Later

A week and a half ago, or so, I once again stopped in at the Mayor's office to make an appointment regarding Kevin. The last app't was cancelled since the Mayor had to be out of town. The new appointment was made for the 18th of July. It failed to register, consciously, while I was there in the office that this was Kevin's anniversary date. Yes, I was feeling more sad and weepy and preoccupied the last few weeks and then realized, once again, that we were approaching that time of year. It then dawned on me that my appointment, inadvertently, was made for that very auspicious, heart-wrenching day. A day that I felt I had overcome, at least somewhat, but which proved once again that the sadness and grief and pain is still very much there.

Being preoccupied I got the time wrong and so scheduled another appointment for the same time, a job interview which I had to go to. Thinking that I didn't have to be at the Mayor's until 10:00, I felt I could go to my interview and still make it in time to see Mayor Cownie. I felt I had the time right but after accidentally pulling out the card that the mayor's assistant had given me , I realized that both appointments were for 9:30! It was ridiculous of me to think I could get in and out of the interview in 15 minutes and still make it to the Mayor's office at a reasonable time, but it then became so important for me to go on that very day, July 18th, that I was being totally unrealistic. I called that morning to say that I would be late but, obviously, I was so late that I didn't get to see Mayor Cownie - understandably so. He had many other people waiting to see him and I wasn't even "fashionably" late. I was absurdly late and was so embarrassed but at least I showed and offered an explanation.

Lorna, the Mayor's assistant was understanding and and gave me another time slot down the road, August 1st, I think. More than that, though, she gave me a hug, one mother to another, and the acknowledgement of Kevin which I needed so much on that day. I made it to the mayor's office that day.That was the most important thing. I don't know why but it was important and it helped. - Even though I showed up 50 minutes late. Actually I think it was 55 minutes late.

So three years have gone by since the last day anyone saw Kevin. I don't know why I went to the Mayor's office a week or so ago.During our next appointment I will just tell him that the police have never gotten back to me as they said they would. Nothing new and"par for the course" since I returned to Des Monies. I don't know what the Mayor can do. He brought the police to his office to try to mediate the problem but to no avail. I guess I will ask him for suggestions; is there anything else I can do, but that's about it. Yes, and there is a new police chief now, Major Judy Bradshaw. I will make an appointment to see her... I guess the bottom line is that I'm not happy with my progress. I've been here in Des Moines for almost two years now and have made very little progress. I'm planning on that changing and so hopefully it will.

As for July 18th, it's over now. I did go to Jimmy John's right after the Mayor's office yesterday and I did see the young man who reminds me so much of Kevin. His name is Brandon and, as I said before, we lovingly call him the Kevin clone. I was able to talk to him briefly as I was paying for my delicious number 15 tuna club. As it turns out, Brandon is in a band and sings, one of the two vocalists in the band. Kevin loved music and played the guitar. I'm sure he fantasized about being in a band but my conversation with Brandon made me wonder if Kevin would ever have gone in that direction. Anyway, my brief visit at Jimmy John's talking to this young man who is almost the same age as Kevin, a year older, if I remember correctly, was so comforting as was my few words and hug exchanged with Lorna. It helped so much. I don't know why, but it did. Why watching this young man who reminds me so much of Kevin, but isn't, I know, helps and brings comfort, I don't know, but it does, tremendously so!