May 7th
I was here at the library yesterday, May 7th, the anniversary of Kevin's memorial service. The library had just changed to its Summer hours effective yesterday, as a matter of fact. I had failed to notice the fine print and so I showed up yesterday to no avail. Brian was busy and not at home and so I ended up not having access to a computer. I don't know why it was so important to do my blog on the exact day, but it was. Kevin's memorial service fell on a Saturday, this year May 7th falls on a Sunday.
I've talked about anniversaries and remembering. One doesn't need an anniversary date to remember but certain dates are more prominent I guess. Who knows as years go by which dates will stand out. Kevin's service had a sense of finality to it. A certain amount of closure. It was a beautiful week, that week before the service. I felt as if I was in a different world, and not a real one. Planning things and buying flowers and visiting with the pastor and funeral director. Busy is good, as I've said before, and that was a busy week. Everything was beautiful at Dunn's Funeral Home. Kevin would have appreciated the old and elegant and beautiful mansion. I got there early that morning. Everything was all arranged and I sat there. It was peaceful and comforting. Everthing there to remember Kevin and honor him, which as hard as one would try, they could never do. All the flowers in the world, all the pictures, all of the guests... nothing could do justice to the loss of Kevin's life. But we try anyway. Everyone in their own special way. We all need ritual. Most of life is ritualistic. Especially during times of tragedy and loss I guess ritual becomes most important, for us, the living.
Something sticks in my mind from another book I have, "The Science of the Mind", by Earnst(sp) Holmes. It says we are birthless and deathless. And more than anything in the world I want to believe that because it brings comfort to me regarding Kevin. We are spirits in Gods image and likeness and so immortal. We are born into this world for a brief time and leave, but our spirit was before and does not die although this earthly body does. So Kevin is fine and, yes, I have to continually tell myself that as I get bogged down from day to day with all of this earthly garbage.
One year later and still so much to do. Remembering that day and some specifics too. I hope Kurt will forgive how long it has taken me to get in touch with him, the man who was fishing that day in February and found Kevin's remains. I remember the beautiful bouquet of red roses that Sarah sent which made the trip all the way back to New York with me. Well, so many things, and as usual, not enough time to write them all down.
So another anniversary date has past. This one, as I said, gave us a little closure a year ago and a year later I relive that day, May 7, 2005, Kevin's memorial service.
I've talked about anniversaries and remembering. One doesn't need an anniversary date to remember but certain dates are more prominent I guess. Who knows as years go by which dates will stand out. Kevin's service had a sense of finality to it. A certain amount of closure. It was a beautiful week, that week before the service. I felt as if I was in a different world, and not a real one. Planning things and buying flowers and visiting with the pastor and funeral director. Busy is good, as I've said before, and that was a busy week. Everything was beautiful at Dunn's Funeral Home. Kevin would have appreciated the old and elegant and beautiful mansion. I got there early that morning. Everything was all arranged and I sat there. It was peaceful and comforting. Everthing there to remember Kevin and honor him, which as hard as one would try, they could never do. All the flowers in the world, all the pictures, all of the guests... nothing could do justice to the loss of Kevin's life. But we try anyway. Everyone in their own special way. We all need ritual. Most of life is ritualistic. Especially during times of tragedy and loss I guess ritual becomes most important, for us, the living.
Something sticks in my mind from another book I have, "The Science of the Mind", by Earnst(sp) Holmes. It says we are birthless and deathless. And more than anything in the world I want to believe that because it brings comfort to me regarding Kevin. We are spirits in Gods image and likeness and so immortal. We are born into this world for a brief time and leave, but our spirit was before and does not die although this earthly body does. So Kevin is fine and, yes, I have to continually tell myself that as I get bogged down from day to day with all of this earthly garbage.
One year later and still so much to do. Remembering that day and some specifics too. I hope Kurt will forgive how long it has taken me to get in touch with him, the man who was fishing that day in February and found Kevin's remains. I remember the beautiful bouquet of red roses that Sarah sent which made the trip all the way back to New York with me. Well, so many things, and as usual, not enough time to write them all down.
So another anniversary date has past. This one, as I said, gave us a little closure a year ago and a year later I relive that day, May 7, 2005, Kevin's memorial service.
posted by Patricia | 8:05 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home