Anniversary Dates

A year ago today they found Kevin's partial remains. The police called me on the 3rd of February when they felt that it was Kevin. February 7th I gave samples to be used for DNA testing which came back (the results), I think, April 15th. On this date,Feb. 1st, I guess we really knew , or I guess I should only speak for myself, I really knew that Kevin was gone. We did ask for additional DNA testing because although the police were sure it was Kevin, we needed to be 100% sure or as close to that as possible. But that isn't our only anniversary date as perhaps most people know. July 20th I got the call from Kevin's father that he was missing.( July 18th) I can't go back to that date in my mind as I get panic stricken when I reflect on that night, my horror and shock, disbelief, grief...I bought the suicide story until I got out here and started to talk to a few people. At that point I started to have hope that he was alive, maybe because I just couldn't face the truth that Kevin, my son, was dead. But he was missing so we knew nothing. May 7th, another anniversary date, we had Kevin's memorial service, that at least a more positive anniversary if you could ever say that anything associated with the loss of a loved one is positive.
That brought a little closure as many people came to honor Kevin and acknowledge his young life.

Because of the circumstances surrounding Kevin's death (missing for 6 and a half months) this wasn't the norm. A person dies and then is burried a few days later. But maybe this is more like a situation where the loved one is terminally ill. You are told the reality of the situation. You know the person is going to die but you continue to have hope that the person will pull through. The doctors weren't right. You pray to God. You know on one level but still fight to maintain your hope. One moment you know the truth without a doubt, the next moment you dream and hope and pray and believe that the person is going to live. Kevin is alive. Well I guess February 1st of last year I knew he wasn't. But then on another level I guess I really knew when I got his father's phone call... Kevin never would have taken off without telling his family and friends. He wouldn't have taken off period.

So is this the Anniversary of Kevin's death? (Well we know he died before that date) Or was it July 18th? (Actually we don't even know whether he died on that night either). Or do we give more credence to May 7th, his memorial service, which, as I said, was a positive, beautiful experience for me anyway where we acknowledged his spirit and his eternal life? I can't forget all of these dates as I can't forget his birthday (April 7th) either. I guess they are all a part of his story but I will try to focus on his memorial service May 7th for now.