Pain

After I finish the new posting I go to Kevin's website www.kevinmartin.com as I did today too. We're coming up on a bad part of the year for me as for alot of other people who have lost loved ones. This time of the year I guess I just can't maintain my composure as well as we're bombarded with Christmas and Thanksgiving cheer and togetherness and family get-togethers.

I look at the pictures, especially the one which seems so much more personal and alive and I can't believe this handsome young man with his whole life to live isn't coming back. But he isn't.

There is still so much pain. Actually it has been much harder lately for some reason. It still is so hard to remember the wonderful Holidays we had, to be thankful for those memories. To be satisfied with memories? Maybe in due time but now I'm really feeling the pain... and loss.